Tag: Father’s love

A Letter for My Son – Proverbs 3:1-7

A Letter for My Son

My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:

A father tries his best to pass on knowledge and life skills to his son. He tries to give him all the good things that he has learned and instructs his son on the pit falls of life.  He warns him of the dangers that certain things possess. A father strives to pass on more than knowledge.  He instructs in principles for the living of a successful life.  When these principles are adhered to, they guide the listener through proper decision making when the father is no longer present to turn to. These principles of life become the everlasting wisdom of the father in the heart of his son. 

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The father also establishes clear cut rights and wrongs in actions and thinking.  These are things that must be black and white, absolute right and wrong, unbendable truths.  An example, A man should never strike a lady. Another example of such would be, A man should never take advantage of the week or elderly.  Another one from times past would be in the saying, “For God and Country”. Thus establishing the two things that a man must be loyal to.  I would add to it in this order, “For God, Family, and Country”. These are things that a man should always know are wrong and never accept any excuse to violate.  Nor should he respect or accept that any man should be allowed to violate these rules of manhood.  Therefore, these rules that the father teaches his son should never be violated by his son.  This passage of a clear line that should never be crossed is the single most important thing a father teaches a young man of integrity.  A man’s word used to be his bond, that was because fathers used to teach and model this rule of integrity.  A man who does not honor his word, has no integrity.  The end never justifies the means.  Instead, the means is what makes the end justified or not.  So we see the law and the commandment of the father.  They are principles and standards for how a good and godly man will act.  A man who can be respected by man, beast, and God.

The father’s warning is simple.  Don’t forget what I have taught you.  Then he adds one more piece of sage advice. He says, “let”- “let thine heart”.  Many men know what is right to do, and yet they do it not.  Many of men know in their heart of hearts that what they desire to do is ludicrous, and wrong; yet they do it anyway. Therefore, the wise father tells his son that it is not enough just to know what is right and wrong, but you must live it correctly.  Knowledge of right and wrong must be evidenced in you very heart.  You must allow your heart to do the right things.  It is a choice to follow good advice or to ignore it.  You can choose to live by the good principles and truthful commandments of your father or you can disregard them.  So this good father tells his son, let your hear desire to do what you now is correct.  A man should always desire to do what is good and have the backbone to abstain from what is foolish.  If he does not, then he is not a man, but a child.  For a child cannot stand on his own, as a man must. This father’s will is for his son to stand… stand for what is good and just.  He desires for his son to not walk in shame before other men, nor before his God. Then he encourages his son.

For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee. The things that you have learned from me, my law and my commandments; these principles and standards of conduct, will lead to success.  They will give you a long life, you will live longer if you do not take another man’s wife, for example.  Another such example is that incurable diseases come from acts of sexual immorality.  These diseases lead to a shortened, and painful life with ruined relationships, loneliness, and anger.  Keeping your life simple and clear of ungodly desires with give you a life the is happy, healthy, and peace will follow you, all the days of your life.  They will add to the quality of your life and the life of your family.  Prosperity comes in times of peace.  We can see how this leads to prosperity.  Then he tells him about another principle for this successful life.  Something we men all too often forget.

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:  Many men are taught how to be tough.  We are taught how to stand up and to be strong, to hide our emotions and never show weakness.  We often misinterpret these teachings.  You see being strong and containing our emotions does have some benefit in lead and motivating others.  It does also instill in us an attitude to never quit doing what is right in the face of opposition.  Endurance in the faith is a godly quality.  But when we pervert it in our hears to become cold and brutal, ignoring the pleas of others, that is wrong.   Many young men today use the “respect” issue as a means to justify the using of fear and intimidation to demand respect of others. Fear is not respect.

In reality these brutish men have done nothing to deserve respect. Imposing your will on others through fear and intimidation is nothing to respect. Instead they bring shame to their families. It is the tool of the week in heart and cowardice, especially of, those who have no respect for themselves in seeking to hide their own frailties and shortcomings. A frightened adolescent who is afraid to be a real man and open his heart to the care of others. Hardheartedness is never approved of by God.  Instead, the father tells his son to always be merciful and to always seek the truth.  This is proper in judgement. 

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Someone who cannot invoke judgement and give a reward and punishment cannot show mercy.  Now you may empathize with someone and feel sorry for them.  However, you are in no position to be merciful to them.  You can plead for mercy for them to the one who can show mercy, but you cannot provide mercy.  A father can show mercy to his children.  A judge can show mercy to a criminal.  A king can show mercy to whom he governs over.  Here the father tells his son that a good man shows mercy and upholds the truth.  He holds himself accountable.  Mercy and truth should be a part of who he is as a man of integrity.

You see he says to put them about they neck and to write them on his heart.  This causes a man to examine himself and to keep himself in check.  I have a necklace that I wear every hour of every day.  It has an anchor pendant on the chain.  I wear this for a two-fold remembrance.  The first is to remind me of the calling of the gospel of Jesus Christ upon my life.  If reminds me that he said, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:19).  The second is that it reminds me of my dad, who was seaman, and an avid fisherman. 

Now, when I look in the mirror every morning the two things, I am reminded of are the commandments of my God. “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40) and the promise to be a fisher of men.  Then I am also reminded of the many things my dad had taught me about the way a man should act and feel.  You see in looking at this necklace that I put about my neck, I am reminded of proper priorities in my life. 

In putting the things into my heart, this is a purposeful consideration and a constant meditating on the things I have been taught, by God through scripture and through the law and commandments of my dad, in every situation that comes up in my day.  I am forced to examine my thoughts, and the desires of my heart when I look in the mirror and consider the teachings I have received from childhood.  Because I have chosen to let my heart accept the truth, I know in my heart what is good and godly and what is not.  By choosing to do what is good and godly I choose to live at peace with man and with God in mercy and truth.  This brings the peace.

This peace is not just from men, but in living a righteous, faithful life before God, so God and I are at peace with one another.  So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.  The law and the commandments given to a son, by a God fearing father are the passing down of the keys to success and happiness in life.  They are the means of having a successful relationship with God, family, and country (men).  The advice that is passed on?  Son, always trust God.  Son, always seek the truth (God). Son, always love God.  Son, always be kind and merciful.  He says this in another way.  Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.  What then is a wise man, my son?  A wise man is one who knows his limitations, understands the fear of the LORD (Jehovah), and goes in the exact opposite direction from evil and even the very appearance of it. My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: for length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee. 

Love Dad…

Luke 15:11-32 – What About My Child?

Ref: Luke 15:11-32

I spoke with a friend a day or two ago.  She was concerned because her son was getting old enough to leave the fold now.  She was concerned with the usual things that we as parents get concerned about.  If you have lived through this, or are currently going through this situation, then you know what I am talking about.  This is a heart wrenching time for a parent.  It has been 18 years where the mom and dad have been caring for the needs of their child.  They have tried hard to prepare them for this inevitable day.  All their hopes and aspirations are tied up in the fruition of the life of labor and love they have poured into their little baby, who is now a young adult.  Have they been good parents?

What if their young one fails?  How will they be able to help?  Will their child ask for help?  Did I prepare them enough for them to be successful? But probably the most heart wrenching question for a Christian parent is, “Will they continue in their faith?” Will they walk away from God and never return?

In a study done by Lifeway Research, author Ed Stetzer, relays that 70 percent of high school students who attended church on a regular basis, for at least one year, will stop going to church during their years of higher education.  There are allot of reasons for this, but most do not intentionally stop going to church.  That is, it is not that they could not wait to get away from their oppressive Christian parents so that they could leave their archaic religion.  Most just get caught up in their new busy life.  Juggling of study, school, work, and the development of new friendships distract them from their previous priorities.  Some will get distracted for a while, maybe some for several years, but most will eventually return.  Probably when they start their own families.  There are a few who will get distracted far beyond measure.  Some will forsake their childhood upbringing in favor of some college professor’s views, or do the world views on life, sex, and politics that permeate the college campuses. We can find throughout scripture examples to prove that the Lord does not abandon his children.

In Luke chapter 15 we find the story of the prodigal son.  In this story the youngest son makes a plea for his half of the inheritance and leaves home.  This rebellious son then squanders his fortunes in a foreign land and winds up being homeless and penniless.  After much soul searching he decides to return home and beg forgiveness in hopes that he can work on the family estate as a hired hand.  When he returns his father is overjoyed.  The father’s love overflows from deep in his heart and he rejoices over the return of his son with a great feast and a party.  The oldest son, who remained obedient is put off with this forgiveness his younger sibling received.  He is caught up in his own selfish interests to see the miracle that has happened.

This story has many different points at which we can tear it apart and find some universal truth or a great life application.  I have many times used this parable as a part of my testimony, because I was also a wayward son who had returned.  If you are not familiar with this story it can be found in Luke 15:11-32.

Here in this passage we see a man that did everything right.  He raised his kids in a God-fearing home.  He taught them the value of good hard work. He taught them about the Lord.  He taught him the customs of their people, and how to be good men.  He instructed them in the way of their faith.  Yet one of his children fell away.  This is the case for many of us parents. 

We can teach, and discipline, and hold our breath till we are blue in the face, but some of our children will go away form their faith.  We can do everything right.  Still our loved one abandons the truth and rebels against God.  I should also mention that we can do everything wrong, and yet our child finds God.  The point here is that faith is a personal decision.  Our job is to pray for them, teach them, and reinforce the instructions of life and hope in Christ.  Teach them the wisdom of knowing God and the advantages of living a godly lifestyle.  We are to give them an understanding of God that they can use in life’s decisions.  But the decision is up to them.  Each man (woman) is responsible to God for themselves.  This is why the father rejoiced. 

The father in Luke 15 knew when his son asked for his share of the inheritance and left that he was already lost before his feet his the road.  He also knew that he could not stop him.  He knew that while his son was in rebellion that he was already dead spiritually.  I am sure that his heart was broken.  Something that we cannot miss though.  The father knew his son had to make the decisions. 

When his youngest son asked for the money his father did not argue with him.  His father could have told him, that money is not yours yet, you do not have a right to it.  His father could have drilled him with all kinds of questions, he could told him how foolish he was, and what a bad son he is.  He could have struck out in anger.  The father had all of the authority and right to do any or all of these things.  Instead he listened.  He gave his son an opportunity to learn a life lesson that his son needed. 

This father also trusted God to return his son to his faith. The father knew that the son in his heart did believe in God and that this little light of faith would be used by God to steer him home.  I am sure he held onto Proverbs 22:6.  The father had hope.  He knew that God loved his son also, just as much as he did.  He knew that God would not abandon his son.

This hope is evident in verse 20 of Luke 15.  It says, “But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him.” This father was looking for the return of his son.  He expected the Lord to deliver his son.  He rose up and looked for him every day!  We don’t know how long the timeframe is of the story, but it was long enough for the son to lose his inheritance, take a slum job, deal with starvation, and finally repent.  The son swallowed his pride and came with full intention of making things write with his father no matter what the consequences. 

This story can tell us so much about the love of God.  When the son returned the father did not care where he had been, or what he had done.  He only say his son.  His baby was coming home.  I think about this and I think about my own son.  He is a grown man, but every time I look at him, I still see the little infant that I held for the first time at his birth.  I know the heart of God by this memory.  With all that I love my son and no matter what he has done or where he has been, I still see this little baby in my hands.  That I like to think is the way that God sees each of us.  This father in our story just saw his baby, crying and beaten up by life, returning home.  This father who loved his son, put his arms around him.  Nothing else mattered. 

This is what Jesus made possible.  No matter how far we go.  No matter what we have done. No matter how rebellious we have been.  Jesus made a path home for us, for our children.  Have hope in the Lord.  Your heavenly Father has not abandoned you, and will not abandon your son or daughter.  Yes there are some hard lessons in life to learn.  No we cannot shelter our children from consequences of their own decisions.  However; we can have confidence that the Lord will never leave or forsake them.